I'm jealous of your bromance
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
