your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
