evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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