how can u be prego again
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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