I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
