Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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