like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
