I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize