drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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