Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
