we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
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