Dual....:-)
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
