Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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