wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
