you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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