I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
