They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
