walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
