Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize