I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
