do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
