We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Randomize
