I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
