The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
