Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
