I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
