I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Randomize
