I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
