You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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