I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
oh god the rape fog is back!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
