He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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