Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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