just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
