my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
