Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
