Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
