hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
