I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
