wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
