yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize