We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
