At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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