I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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