i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Acid is not a monday night drug
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
