Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
