I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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