even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
