yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
