Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
