who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
