we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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