Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
