id be glad to
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
