All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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