Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
