brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Mom said you looked used
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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