TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
