My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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