...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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