It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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