can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
