I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
