I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
