Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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