Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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