GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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