9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
