i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
