Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
