I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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