My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
