I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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