nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You need Xanax blowdarts
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
