when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
