So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
