Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
