Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
